I do not mind the setting you put the characters in. The bar scenes are a little dark compared to the other scenes, maybe the bar is just a dark, dusty bar.
I enjoy the story of the film, it has been a hard day for the man. I am still not sure about the refernces you are making inregards to the apple, it is a heavy symbol. I do like the flash backs and flash forwards of the film.
Some of your editing may need a little adjusting. The scene between 1:00:30;29 and 1:01:03;01 may not be necessary. I think this is a little redundant in showing the solitude and reflection of the character in the bar. Also, some of the flash scenes need to be a tad longer to absorb the scene, not very much longer, but specifically 1:02:04;22. The scene starting at 1:02:43;08 looks like the driver is starting the car and immediately going to the exxon. It may need a little reworking.
hey overall story seemed really interesting. it made me ask questions. the plot at time was hard to follow.
the mise-en-scene seemed a little choppy. The control particularly of the lighting seemed lax. Some shots were way too dark some were really bright. the sound transitions were really rough.
the editing of some shots was too short and some could have been cut more.
The story is a little hard for me to follow. And the insert about the gas and the electric car seemed unrelated altogether. There tends to be a little too much head-hair rubbing, the conveyance of stress is well enough present. And the end scenes need to have the fade-in edited out of them. And we need actors at our disposal...
The picture that you took had a much better color presence than when you shot it...
But overall an interesting concept, id like to see what it turns into
Great movie! I like the actors and characters you chose. Yet, I found the plots beginning kind-of hard to follow. Camera movements were very interesting!
editing: after the first clip, in the bar where we go from seeing his profile to seeing him looking in the mirror, i think you could cut out the fading from black. that is a little distracting. sounds are a little weird in places. i dont know how to fix that. maybe drag some staticy feedback into the shots that dont have any sound at all. oh, i dont know? sound consistency
plot: we see a man in a bar, seems depressed, troubled. we see what stresses him out, bills, gas costs, not having a job. story: man keeps seeing guy in cowboy hat eating apple. he sees him an a place of peace and content. the main character finally is seen eating an apple and his troubles are somehow resolved or he is now more content.
mise-en-scene: some of the shots are really great, like the ones where he is sitting in front of the television. and the shot with the bills. in those shots, the lighting and the props are great and exemplify a troubled tone.
I think you have this firmly in your head and are following your vision. I would not know what to think at this point but feel you haven't finished the edit that will make it clearer. In some parts the editing is the strongest I've seen mostly around the bursting out of the house and the running and the sitting under the tree. Though with the tree I think you can tighten up the pastorial shots and end on a better sky. The cook coming out of the back started strong but lost the light. In general (I'm wrapping up) Gas station with bylee strong. Despair strong TV good. Light in bar Weak and tighten edits.
6 comments:
I do not mind the setting you put the characters in. The bar scenes are a little dark compared to the other scenes, maybe the bar is just a dark, dusty bar.
I enjoy the story of the film, it has been a hard day for the man. I am still not sure about the refernces you are making inregards to the apple, it is a heavy symbol. I do like the flash backs and flash forwards of the film.
Some of your editing may need a little adjusting. The scene between 1:00:30;29 and 1:01:03;01 may not be necessary. I think this is a little redundant in showing the solitude and reflection of the character in the bar. Also, some of the flash scenes need to be a tad longer to absorb the scene, not very much longer, but specifically 1:02:04;22. The scene starting at 1:02:43;08 looks like the driver is starting the car and immediately going to the exxon. It may need a little reworking.
hey overall story seemed really interesting. it made me ask questions. the plot at time was hard to follow.
the mise-en-scene seemed a little choppy. The control particularly of the lighting seemed lax. Some shots were way too dark some were really bright. the sound transitions were really rough.
the editing of some shots was too short and some could have been cut more.
The story is a little hard for me to follow. And the insert about the gas and the electric car seemed unrelated altogether.
There tends to be a little too much head-hair rubbing, the conveyance of stress is well enough present. And the end scenes need to have the fade-in edited out of them.
And we need actors at our disposal...
The picture that you took had a much better color presence than when you shot it...
But overall an interesting concept, id like to see what it turns into
Great movie! I like the actors and characters you chose. Yet, I found the plots beginning kind-of hard to follow. Camera movements were very interesting!
editing: after the first clip, in the bar where we go from seeing his profile to seeing him looking in the mirror, i think you could cut out the fading from black. that is a little distracting. sounds are a little weird in places. i dont know how to fix that. maybe drag some staticy feedback into the shots that dont have any sound at all. oh, i dont know? sound consistency
plot: we see a man in a bar, seems depressed, troubled. we see what stresses him out, bills, gas costs, not having a job.
story: man keeps seeing guy in cowboy hat eating apple. he sees him an a place of peace and content. the main character finally is seen eating an apple and his troubles are somehow resolved or he is now more content.
mise-en-scene: some of the shots are really great, like the ones where he is sitting in front of the television. and the shot with the bills. in those shots, the lighting and the props are great and exemplify a troubled tone.
I think you have this firmly in your head and are following your vision.
I would not know what to think at this point but feel you haven't finished the edit that will make it clearer.
In some parts the editing is the strongest I've seen mostly around the bursting out of the house and the running and the sitting under the tree.
Though with the tree I think you can tighten up the pastorial shots and end on a better sky.
The cook coming out of the back started strong but lost the light.
In general (I'm wrapping up)
Gas station with bylee strong.
Despair strong
TV good.
Light in bar Weak and tighten edits.
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